First Friday Blog - Purposeful in Stilettos
By Michelle P. Jones
While on this journey called life, we run into situations where we refuse to accept or don't know how to accept the person looking back at us in the mirror. The problem is, each of us really doesn't want to take the time to find out who we are because we have become complacent and comfortable with the roles we play! We have mistakenly made that ENOUGH and don’t seek anything different or better! We have failed to take the opportunity to look deeper and learn how to accept who we are outside of and even in spite of the roles we play!
A while ago my daughter was going through a difficult time in her marriage, and I wanted to encourage her. (I am the kind of person who will not give relationship advice.) I remember telling her to 'look at herself openly and honestly and look at her contribution to and her withdrawals from the marriage.' I said 'it takes two people to make a marriage work in the same way it takes two people to end a marriage. I challenged her to stop looking at him and to turn the magnifying glass on herself!'
Those words became significant in my own life later when I went through my own journey to change! It forced me to take a look at the woman looking back at me in the mirror and uncover what I was hiding from. You know that thing that made it ok for me to only go surface deep and not get to the root of my issue(s). I was guilty of not genuinely loving and accepting myself. All I was doing was accepting myself as defined by the roles I played! That realization rocked my world and caused me to ask some important and necessary questions that began with me learning the difference between self-acceptance and living in denial! I must admit it was difficult finding what I thought I needed or wanted to know, so I switched it up and looked up what it means to ACCEPT others. I found several definitions, however, one stood out to me, “Acceptance is the ability to see that others have a right to be their own unique person. That means having a right to their own feelings, thoughts, opinions, and beliefs…,” by Terry Schmitz. By accepting this as a truth, I gave myself permission to accept myself outside of the roles I play and masks I wear! That acceptance gave me the permission I never knew I needed to finally realize that my last mistake or bad act doesn’t or isn’t what defines me! By changing my thought process, I now see that every day I wake up is an opportunity to REINVENT who I am and the CHANCE I need to commit myself to the work necessary to be the person I am created, destined and purposed to be!
Why is it so hard or difficult for us to truly accept who we are in that moment? Why do we feel comfortable remaining planted in the familiar even though it’s an unhappy and unfulfilling place? When will we realize that we already have everything we need to change our view of our self and accept the person looking back at us in the mirror, within us? Each one of us already have the courage we need to accept our self and step into our greatness. I challenge you in the same way I challenged my daughter and myself to see the importance of turning the magnifying glass on yourself, and in learning how to accept who you really are and not the you as defined by the roles you play nor the masks you wear. It takes a minute for each of us to realize it is just a protective covering. Be willing to do your self-work to finally know who you are and begin answering those important questions in your own life.
When you are willing to do the work to finally KNOW you and make the necessary changes in your life, you will begin to ACCEPT the you that you are in that moment and view life differently! As you begin your process of ACCEPTING yourself, know that it is a process and just like you didn’t get into this condition overnight, it will take longer than overnight for you to finally ACCEPT you for who you are in every phase of your life.
Michelle P. Jones
Michelle P Jones is an ordained minister, an Amazon International Bestselling author, business and ministry strategist, and inspirational/motivational speaker. Michelle is the President/CEO of Michelle P. Jones, Inc., a professional services firm, where she specializes in informing, empowering and equipping entrepreneurial creatives in structuring their business/ministry endeavors for success and continued growth. Michelle has self-published two (2) books for national distribution: Grasping your success: Six steps to Starting an Legitimizing your Business and Walking on Water in my Stilettos: How God Strengthen my Faith-walk, is a contributing author in As for Me and My House: Stories to help on board households for entrepreneurship and will soon release her fourth book for national distribution. Michelle is also the executive producer and host of the Girlz Talk... Real Talk Podcast, that can be found on all major podcast platforms, where she provides a safe place for women and men to have those difficult yet necessary conversations that have the potential of changing the trajectory of their life while empowering and enabling them to live their truth, their purpose, their life OUT LOUD and in living color. If you have any questions and/or to obtain additional information, please contact Michelle via email at MzMichellePJones@gmail.com.